I felt the need to inform you happy people that I graduated yesterday
It was nice and all, but boring, two hours of listening to speeches and clapping until my hands buzzed. I'm mostly on this journal to write about the music that was played. Yes, I am dedicating a whole journal to the song choice of my graduation ceremony.
It was an organ. You'd think it'd be playing your standard, churchy organ music, but no. As soon as we stood up to finally get out of that hot fucking room (at least we were inside, it was raining, because Wales), the organist stood up and started pounding on that awful instrument. And what came out was horrifying and hilarious.
It was like scaling Dracula's fucking tower or watching Frankenstein's monster be brought to life with lightning and science-magic. It was like the music you hear before the boss battle, when the boss is having some long speech and you're freaking out because you forgot to save. It's like the music you hear before you get sacrificed to goat demons. I feel like an actual part of my soul has been stolen and replaced with despair.
I was like, Oh great, I finally have a degree and now this organist is summoning all the demons out from the gates of hell to suck out my blood and hang my empty shell of skin from a burning post. I wish I could have gotten the name of the song so I could arrange for it to be played at my funeral when they lower my casket into the ground. I wanted it for my ringtone. It was fantastic.
It was also very confusing. Why that music? Jesus, was the depressing, grating clarinet solo before the ceremony not enough, so they thought they'd scare the shit out of us as we got up to leave? Was this symbolizing the end of our lives of drinking and camaraderie and the beginning of our lives of using our useless art degrees to wipe the sweat from our foreheads after a long day's work at McDonald's? Were they reminding us of our slowly-impending deaths? Did the organist just hate graduates because he never graduated? Did the organist just hate us?
So many questions